Not long ago I found myself sitting in the garden room of the Idaho Falls temple pondering what was next for me. I had just had my third miscarriage since my last child. I realized that the repeated miscarriages meant that a chapter of my life was closing. I felt a little lost and confused. I had been in and out of pregnancy, breastfeeding, and birthing babies for the last eighteen years. I just didn’t realize that an end was coming when it did, so while I felt ready to embrace a new chapter I felt a bit melancholy about it too.
One of the beautiful things about going to the temple is that, given our different circumstances, we will hear the same things but they will mean something new or different to us. That day for me it was being reminded of the six periods of creation. When God directs the creation, it is a beautiful harmony of events. Each creative period has its time and place. I had this ‘aha’ moment where I realized that I was not done ‘creating,’ I was just moving on to a different creative period of my life. I felt like it was the Lord’s way of telling me that my family is complete and that it was okay for me to move on to the next stage of life that would no longer include, pregnancy, breastfeeding, diapers, and so on.
It was Dieter F. Uchtdorf that said, “Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter” (source). As women we do not move from one period of creation to the next in the same way or order. We each have different experiences, talents, gifts, and challenges that pull us toward a particular form of creation. For a long time it was childbearing for me. That period of time may be shorter for other women or longer. It may not even happen in this life, but that period of creation will come, “If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.”
Participating in creating is an ongoing process. The focus of creation for me will just become a little different. I like Elder Uchtdorf’s suggestion, “The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you.” In the end I feel like I am still in the process of being created. And, like the painting above, the Lord is directing it. I can’t see everything from my perspective but He can, and I trust His wisdom and guidance. How grateful I am for the six babies who came to our family and the powerful experience that it was to carry them, birth them and nurture them.
And so, I’m moving on to a new period of creation, relying on the Spirit to guide the way. May that Spirit guide you in whatever period of creation you may find yourself.