by Robyn

Empowering Mary: A Paradigm Shift on the Nativity Story

December 18, 2017 in Mary, Robyn, Savior, Uncategorized by Robyn

We received this post from Carol Vezzani who contributed to our book the beautiful essay “My Angel in Gethsemane” in our Atonement chapter.  Carol also blogs at  I enjoyed this post because I love the idea of Mary being proactive and empowered about her birth.  Enjoy! –Robyn


Empowering Mary: A Paradigm Shift on the Nativity Story by Carol Vezzani

I’ve always felt at least a little uncomfortable with the common modern renditions of the conditions of Christ’s birth: Mary and Joseph travel to Bethlehem, poor and alone. They reach the one inn in town, Mary obviously ready to pop, if not already in labor, only to find it crowded and run by a grumpy and inhospitable innkeeper who gruffly forces them to leave. In despair and urgency, they take refuge in a stable among the animals and filth. Alone and in the most squalid of circumstances imaginable, the Christ child is born and laid in the manger where the cows and goats continue to nibble the hay out from under his head.

The entire basis for this account is these 4 verses from the Gospel of Luke, chapter 2–


4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judæa, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

5 To be taxed with Mary his aespoused wife, being great with child.

6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

7 And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.


When you read what is there, there really is so little that is concretely declared about the circumstances. I have no problem with people inventing details to flesh out a story that is so important to so many. The problem I have is with those invented details being perpetuated and taught as truth down the generations.

It started with the innkeeper. Even as a child, I was uncomfortable with the birth story having an invented villain. No where in the Bible does it mention an innkeeper, and yet he consistently makes an appearance, turning the holy couple away out of selfishness and greed. My first childish thoughts were, “That is so unfair. No one knows that he was mean or selfish. Maybe he was nice. He even let them stay in his stable. What, should he have kicked out someone who was already there? He did the best he could.” It wasn’t until later that I realized–there may never even have been an innkeeper at all. And I think that’s the point. I can invent details that please myself, but I do not claim that is actually how things were, any more than the “traditional” details.

Some other thoughts are on the accommodations available to Mary and Joseph. The Joseph Smith Translation of the bible renders the word as “inns” rather than “inn,” and some research into the original Greek (on the internet–don’t judge) points out that the word translated as “inn” in this circumstance is not the same as that meaning a public house for travelers, but rather a guestroom in a private residence. This makes sense. Bethlehem is Joseph’s hometown. It seems only natural that he would have family to stay with. But, being a time when everyone came home, the houses were probably crowded.

Since having my own babies, I have connected more with Mary in this story. The more I thought about her, the more I felt offended on her behalf even more than on the innkeeper’s. Why should she be depicted as the simpering, whimpering, powerless victim? I personally think God would have picked a Mother for the Christ with a little more gumption than that. Having traveled to a different state in order to have a natural home birth, in the basement of a friend’s house where the rest of the family who owned the house went about their business upstairs, I know what it is like to have a baby far from home, in a busy house that doesn’t belong to you. And let me tell you, there could be plenty of “room” to live and eat and sleep at night and still “no room” to have a baby. And at this point my imagination started to run. I can only imagine Mary, coming on to her time, looking around that crowded house and thinking, “No. Way.” OK. Say she is demure and kindhearted. She won’t kick anyone else out of the house just for her, but still. She goes to Joseph.


Mary: There’s no room here. I can’t have my baby here.

Joseph: There’s no where else to go. The city is full.

Mary: I don’t know. Not here.

Joseph: Mary, there is no where else.

Mary: There has to be. Somewhere. I can’t be here with all these people.

Joseph: Where, Mary? Where? The entire city is full.

Mary: I will find a place!

Joseph: Where are you going to go? The barn?

Mary: Yes!


Her nesting instincts kick in and she starts cleaning.

OK, that’s the funny way it goes in my mind. Truthfully, there were probably many female relatives and a midwife or two there to anticipate her need for solitude, and clean for her. Nowhere says that Jesus was born on the first night they arrived. They had time to prepare for this journey. They would have planned time to prepare the circumstances for his birth.

Again, I emphasize that I am not claiming this is what happened. I am only saying that this narrative fits with the facts as laid out in the scriptures as well as any other does, and it feels a lot more respectful of the Holy Mother as a woman and a powerful daughter of God.

by Robyn

Did Mary Really Ride a Donkey to Bethlehem?

December 12, 2017 in Angels, Christmas, Jesus Christ, joy, Mary, Pregnancy, Robyn, Savior, Symbolism by Robyn


There are many beautiful works of art depicting Mary riding a donkey as Joseph led them to Bethlehem. I never questioned whether or not Mary rode a donkey on her journey with Joseph.  However, as I was researching the symbolism of Mary riding a donkey to Bethlehem and Christ riding a donkey as he entered Jerusalem in the Triumphal Entry, I realized that the scriptures don’t actually say that she did.  She could have. It is likely that she did given it was the popular mode of transportation for people of her day and circumstances.  But we really don’t know.

Nevertheless, it is interesting that it is commonly accepted. And so I wanted to delve into the symbolism of Christ riding the donkey into Jerusalem and what that may mean for our common belief that Mary rode upon a donkey too.   In Egypt the donkey is a symbol for the god of evil. In Hebrew writings the donkey or ass symbolized the devil, evil, harm or non-covenant people (Lost Language of Symbolism, 307-308).  What does the Son of God riding upon something that symbolized evil mean?




The answer is two fold in Christ riding upon the donkey/ass. First, it symbolized that He would overcome all evil even the devil himself. This He did with his sinless life though being sorely tempted by even Satan himself.  By riding into Jerusalem in this manner He foreshadows His triumph over physical and spiritual death and His ability to grant salvation.

Secondly, riding upon the ass represented that He was the God of the Jews and Gentiles, “Is he the God of the Jews only? is he not also of the Gentiles? Yes, of the Gentiles also” (Romans 3:29).  In addition, the gospel was to be preached to the Gentiles as well as be “blessed and numbered among the house of Israel” (2 Nephi 10:18).  The word Gentile means “the nations.”  It designates people of non-Israelite lineage but also nations that are without the gospel (Bible Dictionary, 679).

He is the Lord to each one of us whether we know it or not.  Christ did not come for the saint but for the sinner.  He is your Savior whether or not you accept Him as such.  He loves you whether or not you love Him.  He waits for you even when you stray.  He is merciful and makes it possible for each one of us to receive His salvation in one way or another.  To Him we are numbered.  He knows us.

And so Mary riding upon the back of a donkey pregnant with the babe Jesus is a beautiful foreshadowing of what was to come. So whenever I see Mary riding upon the donkey I think of the power and triumph of Christ entering Jerusalem upon a donkey with the crowds of people throwing their clothes and palm fronds in His path honoring Him as a King proclaiming,

“Hosanna to the Son of David: Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest” (Matthew 21:9).

These beautiful words are similar to the refrain of heavenly hosts heralding the birth of Jesus,

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men” (Luke 2:14).


In pondering these symbols a conversation with a dear friend of mine came to mind as we talked about her approaching birth.  She could feel the darkness surrounding her, trying to rob her of the joy that should accompany the birth of a child.  Knowing the challenges she had faced in the past I was reminded that she had overcome them.  The darkness did not beat her.  She had triumphed.  So if you find yourself pregnant or with a little one during this sacred time, or struggling in anyway, I hope you know that Christ will help you triumph over the evil.  It is not unusual to feel weighed down physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as you overcome the evil of the world and choose to give the Gift of Life.  May you seek to be ever closer to Him and feel his love surround you as you bravely move forward to your “Bethlehem.”

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”  John 14:27


To read The Gift of Giving Life buy your copy at your local LDS bookstore, or buy it on Amazon, where we have it at holiday pricing right now!

by Robyn

Jesus, Once of Humble Birth

December 6, 2017 in Angels, Christmas, Doulas, home birth, hospital birth, Jesus Christ, Mary, Robyn, Uncategorized by Robyn


With Christmas approaching I have been pondering the concept of “humble birth.”  We speak of Christ’s birth as being under humble circumstances. In fact one popular hymn begins, “Jesus once of humble birth” (Jesus, Once of Humble Birth, Hymns, 196).  One of the primary’s songs describes his birth this way:

This is the stable, shelter so bare;

Cattle and oxen first welcomed him there.

This is the manger, sweet hay for a bed,
Waiting for Jesus to cradle his head.
(“The Nativity Song,”Primary Songbook, 52)

For Mary this experience had to be humbling, “Although Elohim must have lovingly observed the birth from a heavenly vantage point, even Mary’s extraordinary travail increased the irony. The tiring journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem when she was great with child, the exclusion from the inn, the natural anxiety of bearing a first child, and Mary’s isolation from her own family must have weighed heavily upon her soul” (Gary L. Bunker, “The Ultimate Paradox“). We do not know the exact circumstances of Christ’s birth but Martin Luther remarked,

No one noticed that in a strange place she had not the very least thing needful in childbirth. There she was without preparation: no light, no fire, in the dead of night, in thick darkness. . . . And now think what she could use for swaddling clothes—some garment she could spare, perhaps her veil. . . .

Think, . . . there was no one there to bathe the Baby. . . . The mother was herself midwife and the maid. (Roland Bainton, Here I Stand: A Life of Martin Luther [New York: Mentor, 1950], p. 173). 

But Mary had accepted this fate when she said to the angel Gabriel, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.”  (Luke 1:38).

As I have pondered Mary’s willingness to accept the circumstances that came upon her, I can only respect her humility.  The Guide to Scriptures defines it as,”To make meek and teachable, or the condition of being meek and teachable. Humility includes recognizing our dependence upon God and desiring to submit to his will” (source). Humility is not cowering.  It is much more powerful than that. It is accessing the power of God through submission to Him.

So what does this mean for us?  Sometimes we are given circumstances with a pregnancy or birth (and life) that is not what we wanted.  Last May I was asked to give doula support for a hospital birth to a couple who had previously had all of their babies at home with the assistance of midwives.  This birth could not be at home this time for a valid medical reason.  It was difficult for the mother to choose a birth in the hospital but she did.  This was to me “humble birth.” They had to accept the challenges that this birth would bring under circumstances that they did not want.  They asked a lot of questions and made the best of their situation.  Their little baby is seven months old now and continues to grow healthy because his parents with meekness accepted the circumstance they were dealt.  Many couples humbly choose a homebirth after much reflection too.  Humble birth isn’t about where the act took place so much as it is about the attitude we take towards the event.  Do we reverence the divinity with which the gift of giving life was appointed? Do we seek God’s will throughout the process?  Are we partakers of humble birth? I love the Nativity story.  I can relate to Joseph Fielding Smith when he said,

There is no story quite as beautiful, or which can stir the soul of the humble quite to the depths, as this glorious story can of the birth of our Redeemer. No words that man may utter can embellish or improve or add to the eloquence of its humble simplicity. It never grows old no matter how often told, and the telling of it is by far too infrequent in the homes of men. Let us repeat this wondrous story (Teachings of Joseph Fielding Smith, 310-318).

I never tire of hearing the story of our Savior’s birth.  Last week our Primary children performed a humble version of the Nativity at our ward Christmas party. It was perfect in its simplicity. May you also rejoice in the humility of our Savior’s birth. Wishing you a Christmas season filled with love and light.

To read The Gift of Giving Life buy your copy at your local LDS bookstore, or buy it on Amazon, where we have it at holiday pricing right now!





by Lani

Watch with Me

July 13, 2015 in Adversity, Atonement, Breastfeeding, Dads, Doulas, Jesus Christ, Lani, Pain, Sacrament, Symbolism by Lani

Yesterday Kevin Barney posted “A Feminine Insight to Gethsemane” on By Common Consent. He explained that, as a man, it had never occurred to him to relate Christ’s longing to “let this cup pass” to a woman’s yearning to avoid the pain of childbirth. His post and the comments are worth checking out, especially the ones plugging The Gift of Giving Life. 😉


Our wonderful Robyn Allgood is the author of a beautiful essay, “Birth in Remembrance of Him,” examining the connections between Christ’s Atonement and childbirth in The Gift of Giving Life. Here’s an excerpt:

The blood that was squeezed from Christ for us has the power to give us eternal life, while the blood that a woman sheds for her baby gives physical life. The work of labor often causes a woman to sweat as she exerts pressure to push her baby out. As the baby moves through the birth canal, mucous and other fluids are squeezed from the baby’s nose, throat, and other orifices. This squeezing or massaging of the baby prepares the baby to live outside of the womb. In this way, the labor that a woman experiences is benefiting her baby, just as the labor the Savior endured for each one of us is for our benefit.

Just last Sunday we attended Gospel Doctrine in my parents’ ward and discussed Christ’s experience in Gethsemane. As we discussed the Apostles’ difficulty staying awake to “watch with Christ,” our instructor suggested that Christ’s agony and the heaviness He felt were likely so intense and overwhelming that His apostles may have, on some small scale, felt it in the energy pervading the area. Because of their deep love and connection with Christ, they may have been experiencing some sort of “sympathy pains.”

asleep-in-the-gardenThe scriptures say that “when he rose up from prayer, and was come to his disciples, he found them sleeping for sorrow” (Luke 22:45). Our instructor suggested that it may have been that they were not necessarily “asleep,” but rather literally unconscious from the depth and intensity of the agonizing atmospheric pain they, as mortals, were incapable of withstanding. Personally, I have on a few occasions felt a pain so intense that I have fainted from it. I think our instructor was definitely onto something, and I think hers is the best explanation I have ever heard for the apostles seemingly “slacking on the job.”

When Christ asked them to “watch with Him,” I think He was, essentially, asking them to “hold space” for Him. I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of holding space lately. Holding space for someone enduring a difficult experience is both an honor and a challenge. Our Gospel Doctrine instructor last Sunday explained that when Christ said, “pray that ye enter not into temptation,” scholars suggest that it meant something more like “pray that ye will not break under the weight of this hard trial.” It seems that Gethsemane was not just a difficult test for Christ but also for His Apostles.

posteriorAs she shared these insights, I also found myself thinking about childbirth. My second baby was posterior, facing my front, or “sunnyside up,” which is not ideal for the journey through the pelvis and birth canal. It wasn’t easy pushing her out, and I was making a lot of noise.

As I worked to push her out, my stepmother was on my left and my husband was on my right. At one point I looked at my stepmom, and I could see that she was crying. When I asked her about it later, I learned that they weren’t tears of joy as I had originally suspected. She was crying because it was so hard for her to see me in that kind of pain. Almost simultaneously, to my right, my husband was bent over, and at first I thought he was vomiting. In fact, he was having a hard time staying conscious and was on the verge of fainting. Though they were not enduring the pain themselves, they were having very real and visceral reactions to it.

After the hard work was over

After the hard work was over

I don’t know if Christ’s apostles could see Him as He prayed. The scriptures aren’t entirely clear. Perhaps they could see Him or yearned to help Him. Or perhaps they could simply feel a small portion of the heaviness and pain projecting from Him as He accomplished the Atonement. They offered “sacred support” in much the way fathers and doulas support their wives and clients through childbirth (see “A Father’s Sacred Support” in The Gift of Giving Life). They could not remove His burden, but I suspect they were able to feel some of the weight of it as they struggled to remain conscious.

It is not easy to hold space for someone in pain, and the Apostles were holding space for the most intense experience of pain that has ever occurred. This perspective has given me a deeper appreciation and respect for the disciples Christ chose to “watch with Him” as well as a heightened sense of gratitude to all those who have “watched with me” in childbirth and other intensely challenging or painful experiences. Their service was a beautiful gift to me.


by Lani

Channing’s Milk-Sharing Story

February 25, 2015 in Adversity, Breastfeeding, Gratitude, joy, Loss, Love, Motherhood by Lani

By Channing Parker

Before the birth of my daughter, my pregnancy daydreams focused heavily on nursing my new baby while she slept in my arms. With each feeding, she would snuggle in close to me and drink until she was satisfied. I would pull her close, take in her sweet baby goodness, and drift off in blissful mommy vibes. When the time came for her to be welcomed to this side of heaven, I just knew that everything was going to go perfectly according to my plans. She settled in for her first feed, she latched beautifully, ate, and snuggled into her first newborn sleep.

savannah baby

Does it sound like a dream? I think those were my post-delivery hormones talking. The harsh reality outside of the delivery room was that my daughter had a very difficult time nursing. My dreams of peaceful rocking chair feedings came crashing down when we got home. Each time I nursed my toes curled as I offered my raw, cracked skin over and over again trying to help my daughter successfully latch. Every feed ended with both of us soaked in tears and milk. I was so frustrated! I had milk to give and a hungry baby to eat it, but something went wrong between point A and B and we failed to fill her tummy. We were just one week in and I was ready to give up until I stumbled upon a solution that was perfect for us – bottle-nursing. Bottle nursing consists of pumping breast milk and feeding it to baby via a bottle. My first pumping session produced more milk than could be eaten in one feeding, and for the first time since my daughter was born, I felt a sense of relief.

I hoarded any extra milk I had in the freezer. Within a month, my little freezer was bursting with frozen breast milk. It was at this point that I realized my body produced abnormally large amounts of milk – enough to fill about three babies per feeding. I went back and forth considering dumping all the extra down the drain when I was inspired to look into informal milk donation. I prayed and poured my heart over my decision to donate my milk to a mother who adopted her baby, born just a few weeks after my daughter. I moved forward and met this mom and her baby.

We talked for a while and got to know each other and cooed over our babies. I joyfully packed every bag of milk I had into her cooler. She gave me a hug walked away with a huge smile. At that moment, I realized she was carrying away 120 ounces of me. My tears. My milk. My heart. I felt lighter. Over the next ten months, God lead three other women just like her to my tiny freezer. Each time they came, they chipped away at the raw pain inside me and took those pieces away in bags of breast milk. Those parts of me that ached to be acknowledged and loved were wrapped in hugs and grateful smiles from fellow mothers. Eventually, the place in my soul that once housed a gnawing emptiness began to be filled with hope, love, and friendship.

God turned my dream of feeding one baby into something even more beautiful and fulfilling. He took my fiery determination to breastfeed and passion for my child and softened it into a passionate compassion for His children. The Lord knew that the joy of feeding just one baby was not enough for me, so he allowed me to feed four more. I look back on my experience as a milk donor and joyfully praise Him. How great His wisdom and His love!

My experience with milk donation is that an ounce given is received back one hundred times over in the the joy of selfless service. For both donor and recipient, an exchange of freely given breast milk is about so much more than filling bellies. It is about finding healing and bringing peace to the hearts that long for love, and that is a treasure that cannot be measured in ounces.

DSC_0114Channing Parker is an LDS wife and mother who lives in Phoenix, Arizona. She is a passionate student and teacher of yoga and loves to share her love of life and learning with others. Find her at The Little Blog Of Awesome and let some of her radiance and joy rub off on you!

Why Having a December Birthday is NOT a Bummer

December 19, 2014 in Christmas, Heather, Mary, Uncategorized by Heatherlady


A week before my first son was born I spent a very special afternoon with my Grandmother.  She is famous for making wonderful chocolates, especially carmel turtles. They are the best. It was getting near Christmas and I’d convinced her to let me help her make her Christmas chocolates. I went with the hope that I’d be able to learn how to make chocolates, but it turned out that she taught me something much more important.

It was a beautiful afternoon and were sitting at her kitchen table rolling the centers for the mints we were going to dip. My baby was due soon and I was complaining to her how bad I felt that my baby would probably have a birthday around Christmas time. “It is such a bummer,” I told her, “His birthday will always be eclipsed by Christmas and he’ll have to wait a whole year before he gets any presents again!” She listened to me and then smiled at me in a knowing way. My father, her fourth child, was born only a few days before Christmas. She told me about how she’d worried she’d be in the hospital on Christmas and prayed that he would come before then.  But then she looked at me with her deep, wise eyes and said, “But you know Heather, there is something really special about having a baby– especially a baby boy– at Christmas time.”

Those words really touched my heart, and that night as I snuggled into my bed and felt the little boy inside of me wiggle I thought about what my Grandmother meant.

I thought of Mary and of the precious baby boy that she carried inside of her. I wondered if she felt a lot of the same apprehension and fear that I did. If she ever doubted her ability to be a mother, or worried about her capacity to handle what would be placed on her shoulders. I wondered how she would have prepared to give birth and I imagined what it must have been like for her to become a mother. As I thought about her, I began to see what my Grandmother meant. There was something very special about having a baby at Christmas. I saw things in a way I never had before.

It was real.

Mary was a real woman, with real feelings and real Braxton-Hicks contractions, and Jesus was a real baby. A real baby who was delivered by His mother in the same way I was going to deliver mine. And that changed my whole perspective. I began to feel a deep kinship with Mary and rejoice that I would get to celebrate the birth of my baby at the same time as the world celebrated the birth of Mary’s son.


A week later, my little boy was born, and I felt love like I’d never felt it before. It made that Christmas the most special one of my whole life, one full of complete joy and awe. It turned my heart to my Savior Jesus Christ in way that is hard to describe, and taught me things deep in my heart.

I often hear people say that they feel bad for people with December birthday’s, especially if they are near Christmas. They lament the fact, much like I did at my Grandmother’s house, that their special day doesn’t get the attention it might have gotten at any other time of the year. If that is something that you have said, or felt, I hope that perhaps my Grandmother’s words can change the way you look at it, because it IS an incredible thing to give birth to a baby in December. To be heavy with child as you read about Mary traveling to Jerusalem, and holding your own newborn child in your arms as you read about Jesus being wrapped in swaddling clothes. It is a living demonstration of the Love of God.

I know that each year I celebrate my son’s birthday (we’ve done 7 of them now) I am reminded of how it felt to hold him in my arms for the first time, to feel the miracle and joy of birth and know that with God ALL things are possible.  And each year I reflect on Mary and Jesus, and know that it was real. That He really was born, and that God– the Creator of the World– came to Earth as a helpless baby. And there is NOTHING more incredible than that.

So if you are expecting a baby this Christmas season, don’t despair. There is so much more to Christmas that presents and parties.. and having a baby will remind you of that. God knows when your baby needs to be born, so trust that. There are incredible things to be learned from Christmas babies.

And if you have a birthday in December  I hope that my Grandmother’s words will help you remember that there is very something special about being born around Christmastime–  you are a tangible reminder to everyone of what the holiday is all about.

A celebration of Life. Your life. Jesus’s life. Eternal life.

So Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas!

by Robyn

A Gift for an Angel

December 9, 2014 in Angels, Birthdays, Christmas, Death, fasting, Grief, home birth, Jesus Christ, joy, Loss, Love, Mary, Robyn, Savior, Thoughts, Uncategorized by Robyn

December is special to me for many reasons.  Not only do I get to celebrate Christ’s birth, I get to celebrate my firstborn son’s birthday.  Kyle only spent two birthdays on earth with us before he died  but we still celebrate his birth every year.  If you have read “Birth in Remembrance of Him” in the Gift of Giving Life then you are familiar with his birth story.  His birth will always be very special to me.  He came just days before Christmas surprising us on a starry night.  No hospital, no midwife, just me, my husband and a newborn baby in a tiny little room.  I felt a special kinship with Mary, Joseph and the precious Baby Jesus.  I will always treasure that night.


The cutest angel on our tree.


How does one celebrate an angel birthday? I don’t think there is a right way to do it.    We started by releasing balloons for each year old he would be.  We each write a message on the balloon and release it into the sky.  As the years pass, the number of balloons has grown so we are looking to change things around a bit. We will likely continue to open a gift from Kyle.  It is usually a Christmas book or other classic children’s book.  We have also donated a book to our local library because Kyle loved books so much.

This year I decided to give Kyle a gift.  It was early because I gave it to him on Fast Sunday.  As I have blogged about before, I moved this past year.  In my old ward, I often shared my testimony.  It was not unusual for there to be lots of pauses which made it easier for me to get up. The new ward has a line waiting every fast Sunday so if you want to get up you have to get up early and get into the line up.  I also felt a little more nervous to get up in this new ward.  And there is always the challenge of keeping the toddler happy while you go wait your turn.  While she was distracted with the cute boys behind her I snuck to the stand and waited my turn.  And then the bonus, my four year old followed me.  I admit to feeling like my thoughts were scattered but what I do know is,

“Nevertheless, ye are blessed, for the testimony which ye have borne is recorded in heaven for the angels to look upon; and they rejoice over you, and your sins are forgiven you.” Doctrine and Covenants 62:3

My belief is that my angel, Kyle, will read it.  It is my gift to him.  And that is the glue that will bind us together forever as a family, Christ.  Our living testimonies of Him.  I also realized after finally getting up was that I could keep giving that gift to him.  So I have shared my testimony in my primary class, Family Home Evening, on my Facebook page, Instagram account and blog.  And now you get to hear it too.

I do know that Christ lives.  He is my Light.  He brings me hope as I seek repentance and forgiveness. He has the power to save.  He leads and guides His living church through a living prophet of God on the earth.  I know the Book of Mormon is the word of God as is the Bible.  My heart rejoices in their power.  I know that it is because of the Savior that my family can be together forever.  This is not wishful thinking.  This is eternal truth.  I bear witness to it.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Delivered {Book Review}

October 2, 2014 in Book reviews, Heather, Jesus Christ, Mary, Midwives, Uncategorized by Heatherlady


A few weeks ago I was contacted by J. L. Van Leuven and asked if I’d be interested in reviewing her new (and first) novel called “Delivered”. The novel is set in New Testament times and is a fictional account of the midwife who assisted Mary during the birth of Jesus Christ. On her blog J.L Van Leuven writes this about her book,

” I was taking a bath one evening when a story came into my mind. It was not just any ordinary story. It was a story of the midwife who delivered Jesus Christ. The story came into my mind with complete detail from the beginning to the end. It was all I could think about for days and days. I decided that I needed to write it out… There actually came a point when I was working on the book late at night after I had gotten off of work… I went to save the manuscript when I accidentally saved a blank document on top of my manuscript thus deleting the 171pages I had written so far. I sat looking at the screen feeling sick to my stomach. I wanted to quit right then and there. I do not have time for this I thought. I cannot possibly rewrite all of this. I felt a sense of peace come to me and I knew that it would be okay. I reluctantly began writing the manuscript again the very next day. It only took two more months to rewrite the deleted portion of the book and finish it completely…. I knew in the end that it was not of my own doing and that I could not take all the credit. This was a book of inspiration. I was guided through out the entire process which allowed it to come into being. I love this story and the characters that have come forth from it. I hope to tell the world this story. It is one that has never been told before. “

I was intrigued by her comments about her book and after reading was curious to know even more. So I emailed her and asked her to share more of her experiences writing this book. Here is what I asked:

I really loved your main character, Ada, and I am wondering if she was patterned off anyone you know or where the idea for her character came. 

 To answer the first question truthfully I must be open and honest.  I wrote Ada as I was guided to write her. I honestly never thought she would come out like she did. I knew the book would be a spiritual journey for the reader but never imagined to what extent until I had completed writing it. It was as though I put on a cloak allowing me to see the world as she would. I felt as though I could see and perceive things as she did and then I wrote the book from her perspective feeling every emotion as though I were her.  I knew her name would be Ada even from the first thought of her. I knew she was a very significant person with a very special story. After writing her story I was strengthened in ways known by my spirit only. It is hard to put into words the changes that can occur in ones soul. Somehow words do not do it justice.

On your blog you mention that the idea for this book came to you while you were taking a bath and that you saw the whole story from start to finish. I am curious to know more about that experience. Which parts of the book did you start out with and how did your writing process evolve? 

The story  of Ada came into my mind one evening in the first part of January. I was listening to the Hallelujah by the Cloverton group.  I actually had listened to this song before and loved it but never had a thought about Ada until this evening. As I listened to the words in the song. I pictured Ada as a young girl growing up in Bethlehem. I could see her life in my mind. I saw her fall in love. I saw what happened to her love and the pregnancy take place. I saw her lose her child in the way that I described in the book. At the end I knew that midwifery and birth would slowly start to heal her wounds in a way that is hard to explain to people outside of the birthing world. I also knew that she would carry a wound so deep and so painful that the only way for it to be healed was through Jesus Christ. Although not as an adult but even from infancy his greatness would heal her and she would understand her destiny and purpose in this life. She would see just who he was and it would cause her to remember who she was. It was through the actual birth she would be healed in the most complete and remarkable way. Which will happen to us all at some point but at times in our lives it is hard to comprehend the glory and magnitude of it all. That is the basic story that came into my mind. As I started to write I developed the plot and surrounding story from researching the Jewish archives and the history of Herod the great. It was amazing to me that the obstetric history of Miriamne II fit in so perfectly with my story. It fit so precisely that the event of Miriamne I was in fact the same year as the birth of Christ. It was amazing to me that the more I researched the more the story came to me and the pieces pulled together making for one amazing story. The story that came to me in the beginning was just of Ada and did not include everything else.

I was intrigued by your depiction of Mary and the experiences of her early life. You depicted her in a way I’d never thought of before and I enjoyed your perspective. Where did your ideas about Mary come from and what are your personal feelings about her? 

 Mary, wow what can I say about her. I have loved every story I have ever read about her in my entire life. I have always wondered about her. I have had several conversations with my mother about her. We have researched her. I have read several books depicting her in many different ways. I pulled from all of the knowledge I had of her and created her story again in the way that I was guided to write it. I knew that Mary would know who she was from a young age just as her son Jesus Christ did. I knew that God would have a close relationship with her and that angels would most likely surround her and minister to her from a young age. I had heard a story long ago about her purity. I remembered the story saying that her feet never touched the earth because of the promise her mother had made. The more I thought about this the more it made sense to me that the reason she was so pure is because they had gone to great lengths to keep her so. The idea of her becoming a temple maiden at a very young age and staying within the walls of the temple most of her life made sense to me. These are the reasons that she stayed so pure. She was protected and guided to be a part of the greatest work this world and the worlds beyond would ever know. Again I believe she was very aware of who she was and what role she was to play. She stood through it all with grace and strength from above even until the very end. As a mother myself I cannot even begin to imagine what strength and courage she had. My words fail me when I try to describe what I truly feel about her.

How does your faith influence your writing? What challenges and blessings did you experience as you wrote this book? 

 The book itself was a huge leap of faith for me. I have never been a writer and lack confidence in my writing. The impression for Ada’s story was so strong in my mind that I could not ignore it. So with reservations about my ability I began to write. I loved the story so much after I had finished it. When lost the 171pages I felt sick. I just stared at the blank screen unsure of how I should react. My first thought was that I do not have time for this. I am a full time mom, wife, and nurse. I prayed to know what I should do. A calming spirit came over me and I knew that I still needed to write the story. So with strength beyond myself I sat down the very next day and began to write the story again. I found two flaws in the accuracy of the original story and corrected my mistakes. I moved forward with faith in God’s guidance. I completed writing the story in just 3 months.  I looked back in wonder and amazement that I was able to do that. Even with all that said I still was very nervous to let the story go into the world to be judged of others. When you write something so personal it feels as though you have made yourself very vulnerable on a deep level. I was reassured by a scripture I read one morning in 2Nehpi 33:4. It talks about the spirit making my weakness strong through means of the spirit of God. I was comforted by this so much that it gave me the courage to continue and publish the book. I hope that this book will help cause others to believe, endure, and know that at the end of all the sacrifice lies eternal life.
Thank you Jessica for answering my questions! And here are my thoughts about it. I’ll give three likes and three critiques.

1. The first part of the book was a little slow and cumbersome for me. Mostly because I felt that it wasn’t very historically accurate. The lives and intereactions between characters seemed much too modern to be in New Testament times. For example, even though I thought the courtship of Ada and Asher was sweet (and romantic) it felt more like the type of experience that modern day 16-year-old would have if her parents arranged her marriage and not what a girl in the New Testament would have experienced.  It was nice that you felt like you could relate to the main character but it also diminished from the historical feeling of the book. There were also customs or practices that she mentioned in the book that weren’t very historically accurate and sometimes that was distracting to me. But in all fairness, she did a pretty good job and it didn’t detract from the main plot line or message  of the story.

2. The book is self published and there are some noticeable mistakes in the text and in the layout. The most noticeable ones were the time lapses that sometimes came to dramatically without any transition. There are a few places where the paragraph will end and then all of a sudden the next paragraph is three months or three years later. That was a bit confusing and it would have been better if she could have started them at the beginning of a chapter or put a marker in to signal a time change. The book feels self published (which isn’t a bad thing– TGOGL is self published too!) but it would be good to know that before you buy it so you know what to expect.

3. I think my last critique is probably a more personal one, but it bothered me that some of the birth stories in the book seemed written from a medical mindset of birth. For example, the midwife is always very involved in the births always checking for cervical dilation, coaching the woman when and how to push,  catching the baby herself instead of having the mother do it (except in the case of Mary), even using a birth stool so that women are in a more convenient positions for her to deliver the baby rather than for the main purpose of helping the mother. There were times when I felt you could have transplanted the same experience right into the modern day hospital (with a great midwife) and it would have been just about the same… which in all honesty may have been the case. We don’t really know how births went in New Testament times and it is probable that some of them were as “hands on” as this midwife was, but I tend to think that birth was probably more of mother-led experience back then instead of the more practitioner-led experience it is today. Mary’s birth was really the only one where the midwife really was just a witness, a support person to help if needed, but not one to direct or manage the birth. It felt the most like the type of  homebirths I have attended and wished that there would have been more of those type of experiences in the book.


1. I really loved the characters. The main character, Ada, is wonderful, likeable, intriguing and interesting. I also love it that the love of her life is named Asher (my son’s name) and that she is surrounded by a diverse group of interesting characters. Ada goes through some heart wrenching experiences in her life but even with all that sorrow the book is not depressing or sad. She focuses on how her faith supports her and carries her through to perform the mission she was called to do. I also love it how you see how the Lord prepared her for her mission from the time she was young, even though Jesus’s birth didn’t happen until she was much older.

2. I liked how the author portrayed the midwives as skilled and capable. In the book Ada and her mother (the local midwives) are seen as holy women who pray and wash before every birth and who develop their skills and practices. They use a wide variety of herbs, spices and oils and have tricks to help mothers in all sorts of situations. They handle everything from breeches, hemorrhages and premature babies and do it with skill. I like this because I think too often when we imagine birth in times past we just assume that women didn’t get any sort of quality treatment or care. I don’t think that was the case. I think that like the author illustrated in her book that there have always been women (and sometimes men) who developed great skill in assisting women in childbirth.  It was nice to see her portray midwifery in that positive light.

3. I loved the idea and message that this book sent… that God is aware of each of us and that he prepares us for our missions in life in ways that we don’t always understand. I also loved the idea of imagining what Mary’s birth experience would have been like. I wouldn’t have ever imagined it like it happened in the book, but I enjoyed the author’s perspective and ideas. The truth is that we don’t really know what happened and so anything is possible. I loved imagining.

The Bottom Line

I enjoyed this book, and at one point it was even hard for me to put it down to go to bed. I enjoyed the characters, the plot of the book, and the spiritual message. I had to remind myself sometimes to not get hung up on historical details because this is a NOVEL and the author can use her imagination and depict things any way she wanted. In the end I think she did a really wonderful job and very much enjoyed her perspective. It is an interesting, engaging and thought provoking story and is one that I think would make a perfect gift for anyone interested in midwifery and birth.

I also think it is one that anyone who has ever wondered what it would have been like to be at the birth of Jesus Christ would love… because she gives you just a glimpse of what– maybe– happened.

And I loved that.

You can buy “Delivered” by J. L. Van Leuven through Amazon.

Wet Nurses – Have you even nursed someone else’s baby?

May 22, 2014 in Breastfeeding, Sheridan by enjoybirth

I had the chance to nurse a family member’s baby, when she was ill.  It was only one time.   It was a newborn and my baby was 1 year old.

20th century

It was weird, because I hadn’t nursed a tiny baby in forever and suddenly my baby seemed HUGE!

It was great, because I was helping someone I loved.

It was normal to me, because it just felt right.

There may be times when we are called upon to nurse a friends baby or a family member’s baby.   Would you do so if the opportunity arose?

Wet Nurse as a job?

This is a whole different type of wet nursing.  I am not opposed to it, but in todays world, there probably is not a large number of such jobs available.  I found a great article in the Williamsburg Magazine about Wet Nurses (search page 19) in historic times. It was interesting to read about the debate about nursing even back then.




Pope says it is OK to breastfeed in church.

January 13, 2014 in Breastfeeding, Sheridan by enjoybirth

My husband sends me articles he knows I will enjoy and I loved getting this link from him today.

Pope tells mom it’s OK to breastfeed in church. 

“Some will cry because they are uncomfortable or because they are hungry,” the Pope said. “If they are hungry, mothers, let them eat, no worries, because here, they are the main focus,” he said.


This was my favorite quote, from the Pope!  I love it.  🙂

Of course in the comment section of this article on CNN, there is a big fight going on about breastfeeding in public, especially churches.

I wish the world would read Robyn’s posts about breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding and Modesty

Breastfeeding, Sexuality and Pornography

Tips for Discreet Nursing

What do you think?  Would you love it if President Monson said it was OK to breastfeed in church?