by Robyn

VBA2C Birth Story

September 8, 2015 in Adversity, Birth Stories, Book, Cesarean, Doulas, Faith, fasting, Fear, Gratitude, hospital birth, joy, Love, Obstetricians, Prayer, Robyn, Savior, Uncategorized, VBAC by Robyn

Kylie 4 crop

 

My friend, Kylie, was kind enough to let me share her birth story here on the blog.  I came to know her through ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network).  Interestingly enough, I came to a place last year when I was contemplating closing our little ICAN chapter.  Not much had been happening with it and I felt like I needed to simplify.  It seemed like the obvious thing to let go of.  And then, I prayed to ask Heavenly Father which direction I should take birth work right at that time and ICAN is what He asked me to put my energies into. So I held on. A few month later our little chapter began to explode.  Our attendance tripled and we experienced seven VBACs in less than a year.  I had the privilege of going to six of these births as a doula.  One of which was Kylie’s birth.  Kylie is beautiful inside and out.  It was a sacred experience to be with her and Adam on that special day.  My heart is full as I contemplate God’s hand in all these blessings. -Robyn

 

So to start I feel it’s appropriate to share the births of my other children.

1st child: emergency C-section When I was pregnant with my first child, I just planned on your typical birth experience that I thought everyone had: Hospital, epidural, no eating, IV, eventually pushing, and having a baby. The day before my due date my doctor swept my membranes and I went into labor 7 hours later. When I got to the hospital I was already 5cm dilated and it still didn’t hurt much, but since the anesthesiologist was there, I got my epidural. My son’s heart rate dropped a few times (partially due to epi, and lying flat on my back and not moving), and they might have given me a small dose of Pitocin. Only 3 short hours later we were ready to push! I was excited and nervous. When they told me to push, I realized I couldn’t even push because I couldn’t feel anything. I think at that point I started to realize I might not be able to do this. The Dr. got vacuum extraction and after only 4 attempts at that I was whisked off to surgery (my son’s heart rate had dropped below 40). I didn’t get to touch my son for over an hour. I fell asleep after surgery, and when I woke up I held him for a few min and then fell asleep again for a few more hours. At the time I felt fine emotionally. I was a little sad I was separated from him a bit at first, and I didn’t get to nurse him till the next day, but it didn’t really strike me as a “traumatic” birth experience until a few weeks later. I cried and mourned the loss of a vaginal birth that would never be mine to cherish. I was told I shouldn’t try a VBAC since my diagnosis was CPD (Cephalo-Pelvic Disproportion: too small pelvis).

2nd child: Scheduled C-section With my next pregnancy we went for a planned, repeat C-section. Off and on I struggled with wanting to try a VBAC, but I didn’t want another emergency C-section. I was scared of going through everything just for the same result. My pregnancy was easy, low-risk, and we planned the C-section for 2 days before the due date. I secretly prayed I’d have the experience of feeling a contraction or two. The night before the scheduled cesarean, I started having small contractions. 6 hours later, while we were being prepped at the hospital, the monitor showed I was having contractions every 5 min. I was happy. I knew my baby girl was ready to come that day. Everything went perfectly. I couldn’t have asked for a better scheduled cesarean birth experience. I got to touch and hold her just minutes after being born and only 15 min later I got to breastfeed her successfully. She never left my “ear sight” and my husband held her the whole time they stitched me up. It was a healing experience compared to my first birth and I really did enjoy it. It was all excitement and no drama. I really felt at peace with our road of cesarean births ahead of us.

Kylie pregnant

The VBAC Journey begins: A few months before our next pregnancy, things started to come up. Three things specifically happened within two weeks that made me decide to research the VBAC route. One, I met someone who introduced me to ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network). Two, Adam said he could see us having 5 kids. (Not that we will for sure, but that idea was exciting for me, because I’d always wanted a lot of kids!). And three, I came across an article on FB about a woman trying to get a VBAC at her hospital and they used some research saying that having a lot of repeat cesareans was actually really dangerous to the mother. I had never heard that having 5 C-sections was dangerous. I had talked to 5 doctors and not one of them ever told me the specific risks related to repeat cesareans. And I had told all of them I wanted a lot of children. I was confused and frustrated. I started researching and sure enough found out that I did NOT want any more C-sections if I could avoid it. I then found out that it was possible to VBAC after 2 cesareans if you could find a supportive provider. I did find a supportive provider and hospital (45 away) through my local ICAN chapter. I researched, studied, read, prayed, and fasted to make sure this was the right choice. I feel like I was divinely led to reconsider my birth options. And time and again the thought came to my mind, trust in the arm of God, and not the arm of flesh. Which, to me, meant I needed to trust the choice Heavenly Father was guiding me to make, and not rely only on doctors/professional advice.

Kylie 2 crop BW

VBAC Birth Story: Throughout my pregnancy I continued to research and pray. I hired a doula (a professional birth assistant) and she taught us the Bradley Method of Natural Child Birth. I did some Spinning Babies techniques and did pelvic rocks multiple times a day. (In the meantime my doula and doctor worked together to help 2 other women have successful VBACs!). As my due date drew closer I was getting more excited and nervous. Then my “due date” came and went. We went to Bear lake for a family reunion the week following my due date (and even went down to Orem, Utah the day after the reunion ended)! And still no baby. Luckily my doctor was patient and willing to wait with me. We decided my due date was 5 days off, but that still put me “overdue.” I was starting to feel a little impatient, but was still glad to wait so that my baby could have as much time as she needed to develop in there. I wanted her to be ready as much as I was!

Then on Aug 10th at 2:20 am I felt the first contraction. I started timing them and they were ranging between 7-10 min apart. I woke Adam up at 4 am and he started cleaning the house while I tried to rest. Then my kids woke up and we decided to go for a walk. We walked past a breakfast joint near our house and decided to go get breakfast! It was delicious and just what I needed. My contractions started getting worse as we walked home and my water broke on its own around 1 pm. I called over a babysitter and finally my doula arrived. I told her I checked the “purple line test” for dilation and it was to the top. I cried saying I didn’t want to have my baby in the car! She assured me I wouldn’t and we loaded up and made the 45 min drive to the hospital. Contractions got worse and I knew I had entered transition labor. When we were almost to the hospital I threw up that beautiful breakfast I ate. We pulled into the hospital entrance and Adam ran in to get me a wheel chair because I said I couldn’t walk that far. They got me into a check in bed and went through procedures and I was starting to feel this was unbearable. But I was 8 cm dilated! Then they got us into our birth room and I tried a yoga ball. All I could do was sit on it and lean onto the bed. Adam helped me cool down by pressing a wet rag to my forehead and on my arms. It was the most intense thing I’ve ever experienced. I literally would start to say “oh, no…” every time another contraction started to come. My back labor was intense and I just wanted rest. I was also a lot more vocal during labor than I thought I’d be! At some point my hospital gown came off and I was ah natural except for my sports bra! I did a few different positions but always stayed in the bed.

At one point her heart rate dropped a little and the nurse said I might be complete and need to push. She checked me and I was complete except for a tiny lip of cervix left. She pushed it out of the way and the pushing stage began. We tried the squatting position a few times but I turned out to be too tired to keep pushing like that, so we moved to a side laying position. I pushed on both sides and did squatting again once more, but ended on my right side with Adam holding my upper leg. I was scared of the pushing stage at first because that’s where things went wrong with my first labor, and I was scared it would hurt more. But it turned out that it felt so good to push because it made my back labor go away. And the harder I pushed the more it went away! Everyone told me my pushing was very effective and they could see her head pushing against me every time. At some point after we had been pushing for forever I asked why no one was offering to help me! Are they really going to let me do this all by myself?? And my doula said, “You’re doing it! YOU’RE birthing your baby.” And I realized I was. No vacuum extractors this time. No forecepts. No C-sections. And after an hour and fifteen min of pushing she was born. Her head came out and then both shoulders at once with arms by the sides (causing me to get a 3rd degree tear). But she was out (a full 11 ounces bigger than either of my babies)! They set her right on my stomach. And I got to hold and touch her and watch her give her first cries. All new experiences for me. (I’m crying as I type this!). My husband and I both cried. We experienced the biggest high of our lives. I had felt the most intense physical pressure in my life, but I experienced the most joy I’ve ever experienced in my life. Nothing can compare.

I gained a testimony of God’s creation of women’s bodies. I know nothing was wrong with my body and that God had made my body to do an amazing thing. I believe in and love my body more than I ever did. He made me strong enough, both physically and mentally to have an all-natural birth so that I could witness His marvelous hand, and grow closer to my Savior and closer to my husband.

Kylie crop BW

 

by Lani

Processing Motherhood with Poetry

August 16, 2015 in Abortion, Family size, fasting, Fear, Lani, Love, Motherhood, Parenting, Pregnancy by Lani

BYU graduation with my incredible grand-Mother

BYU graduation with my incredible grand-Mother

So we moved this summer. In the process of unpacking, I found a composition book with notes, freewriting, story ideas, and poetry from the Creative Writing class I took at BYU during the last semester of my senior year. I was newly pregnant with my first child at the time and thus processing a lot of my mother issues. As usual, one of the ways I chose to do this was through words. The following are two poems I wrote in the early months of 2003 and another written more recently.

This first poem is about my stepmother. She came into my life when I was about three or four years old. My dad met her while attending graduate school at BYU after his marriage with my mother ended. Unfortunately, he was no longer allowed to teach seminary as a divorced man. So he went back to school full time and worked to support our family as a single dad of six. I was the youngest, and desperately in need of maternal love and affection. My dad’s new girlfriend, a former elementary school teacher obtaining her doctorate in neuropsychology, could work magic with small children, and I was smitten from the start. She introduced us to literature, art, history, theater, cultural diversity, music, and lots of new foods. Who I am today I owe in large part to her influence.

Seeds

581653_594088200611546_572607400_nLooking up
A pair of small blue eyes
Soaked in all the love that she emanated
From her tall, beautiful figure.
A little hand,
Fingernails stubby from nibbling,
Grasped tightly
Her warm, slender fingers,
Safe.
A child’s ears
Swallowed her voice–
Drank in deeply the tales
Of Arabian Nights and
Trees that gave and gave.
The growing heart
Embraced the seeds she offered–
Words, knowledge, safety,
Love.
And the seeds still grow.

The next poem describes many women who have mothered me over the years: my mother, my sister, my grandmother, my stepmother, my aunt, and others. As I pondered my pregnancy and the path of motherhood, I thought a lot about these women and having had a rather non-traditional upbringing wondered whether I would be a “successful” mother.

My Mothers

I’ve been saved so many times
By gentle hands and soothing words.
She, with the instincts of life and nature,
Drew me to her.
In nights when only light and noise were solace,
She rescued me.
When the darkness and the silence were unbearable,
Or when I wept, incapable of expressing my fear,
Surrounded by familiar prisons, she pulled me out.
She had so many faces, so many names,
But her heart is called Mother.
Mothers.

mothers

Some of my “Mothers”

And now my own heart strains
As the title bursts upon it.
It hurts, but the pain is also joy.
I fear the title.
Mother.
Can I be Mother?
Will nature teach me how to be a
A Savior–
A Mother?

Now, 12+ years later, I am Mother to four (and a half) children. I wonder all the time if I am really capable of taking on any more, but the truth is I have wondered this every time I have been pregnant. Somehow my children have turned out remarkably well, whether because of or in spite of my efforts. I try to remind myself that, even when I’m not nurturing them as well as I think I should be, they have a life full of love, consistency, and security that I could only have dreamed of as a child.

This last poem I wrote just two years ago. It has been on my mind a lot the past few days. Last week I discovered that I am presently pregnant with another girl. This was a bit (a lot) shocking as I had been anticipating the arrival boy-child who has been visiting me for the past four years. But one of the things that has enabled me to open my heart to this daughter is remembering the millions of girl babies who have been eliminated in areas of the world with boy-baby preference. Girl babies in these areas are far too often aborted (sometimes by force), killed at birth, abandoned, or channeled into the horrific sex-slave trade. There are 163 million females who would have populated Asia but are “missing” because of gendercide. That is more than the entire female population of the United States.

Two years ago, on June 2, 2013, I organized a day of fasting and prayer to raise awareness about this heart-breaking problem. Early that morning, I was awakened by the words of a poem forming in my head, demanding to be written. And when I re-read it now, carrying a daughter in my womb, my heart cries, “I hear you! I want you! I will be your mother!”

3:00 a.m.

When I hear
A baby cry,
Her voice
Her song
An invisible vibration of longing
Penetrates my mortal shell,
Gliding through flesh and bone
Like a delicate silver thread.
It throbs with urgency
As it wraps around
And around
saveagirlAnd around
My heart,
Bleeding ache.
And now
A hundred
A million
A hundred million
Tiny threads,
Bursting with a deafening silence,
Pull me from my sleep
Like newborns in the night,
“Wake up,”
Their silent voices throb,
“Cry for us,
Scream for us,
Mother.”

 A slideshow I made for the June 2 day of prayer… Some of the girls in the video were the daughters of people who participated in the event…

by Robyn

A Gift for an Angel

December 9, 2014 in Angels, Birthdays, Christmas, Death, fasting, Grief, home birth, Jesus Christ, joy, Loss, Love, Mary, Robyn, Savior, Thoughts, Uncategorized by Robyn

December is special to me for many reasons.  Not only do I get to celebrate Christ’s birth, I get to celebrate my firstborn son’s birthday.  Kyle only spent two birthdays on earth with us before he died  but we still celebrate his birth every year.  If you have read “Birth in Remembrance of Him” in the Gift of Giving Life then you are familiar with his birth story.  His birth will always be very special to me.  He came just days before Christmas surprising us on a starry night.  No hospital, no midwife, just me, my husband and a newborn baby in a tiny little room.  I felt a special kinship with Mary, Joseph and the precious Baby Jesus.  I will always treasure that night.

DSC00759

The cutest angel on our tree.

 

How does one celebrate an angel birthday? I don’t think there is a right way to do it.    We started by releasing balloons for each year old he would be.  We each write a message on the balloon and release it into the sky.  As the years pass, the number of balloons has grown so we are looking to change things around a bit. We will likely continue to open a gift from Kyle.  It is usually a Christmas book or other classic children’s book.  We have also donated a book to our local library because Kyle loved books so much.

This year I decided to give Kyle a gift.  It was early because I gave it to him on Fast Sunday.  As I have blogged about before, I moved this past year.  In my old ward, I often shared my testimony.  It was not unusual for there to be lots of pauses which made it easier for me to get up. The new ward has a line waiting every fast Sunday so if you want to get up you have to get up early and get into the line up.  I also felt a little more nervous to get up in this new ward.  And there is always the challenge of keeping the toddler happy while you go wait your turn.  While she was distracted with the cute boys behind her I snuck to the stand and waited my turn.  And then the bonus, my four year old followed me.  I admit to feeling like my thoughts were scattered but what I do know is,

“Nevertheless, ye are blessed, for the testimony which ye have borne is recorded in heaven for the angels to look upon; and they rejoice over you, and your sins are forgiven you.” Doctrine and Covenants 62:3

My belief is that my angel, Kyle, will read it.  It is my gift to him.  And that is the glue that will bind us together forever as a family, Christ.  Our living testimonies of Him.  I also realized after finally getting up was that I could keep giving that gift to him.  So I have shared my testimony in my primary class, Family Home Evening, on my Facebook page, Instagram account and blog.  And now you get to hear it too.

I do know that Christ lives.  He is my Light.  He brings me hope as I seek repentance and forgiveness. He has the power to save.  He leads and guides His living church through a living prophet of God on the earth.  I know the Book of Mormon is the word of God as is the Bible.  My heart rejoices in their power.  I know that it is because of the Savior that my family can be together forever.  This is not wishful thinking.  This is eternal truth.  I bear witness to it.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Chain Breaking

April 29, 2013 in Angels, Energy Healing, fasting, Felice, Forgiveness, Intuition, Missions, Personal Revelation by Progressive Prophetess

chain through heart hole in post

On December 21, 2012, (the day we transitioned fully into the Aquarian age,) I was weighed down with the heaviest energy of my entire life. A few days before, I started doing some energy work that I didn’t realize would have such a huge effect on me. I blogged about this on Dec 20th,here. If you read the blog post, you can feel the intensity—but the following day, the 21st, was even more intense. I felt like I was feeling all the hopelessness and despair of all of my ancestors and all of my husband’s ancestors too. It was so heavy I almost couldn’t bear it. I understood why people commit suicide (and several of my ancestors did). By evening when it hadn’t cleared up, I asked for help. A friend guided me through an imagery journey where I asked to connect with an angel of Joy. The following vision occurred, (I quote this is from my journal):

The angel of joy appeared, who was actually Heavenly Mother. She filled me with light and she told me that I was strong. She said she knew that I didn’t want to be strong but that it was my spiritual gift, so stop wishing it wasn’t. That was eye opening. She filled with me light and also helped me break the chains holding my body down. [They were very very heavy. I had a physical feeling of not being able to move on my bed.] Others came to help (ancestors?) but they couldn’t do it without my help. So I took the light within me and blasted the chains and freed them too.

The angel said that I’d feel joy when I woke up. I thought she meant in the morning, but I realize she could mean “wake up” as in become conscious and awake to the things of God.

 It was a strange imagery journey for me. It took a very long time to break the chains and when it was all over, I was still left with a feeling of not totally understanding or being free of them.

 Last week after talking to the amazing Sarah Hinze (premier researcher on Pre-Birth Experiences – which are similar and sometimes cross over with Near Death Experiences) about one of her books in progress tentatively called Chain Breakers, I remembered this vision. I now realize what it was about.

 As Sarah told me about her forthcoming book, she said that some of us have a mission in this life as chain breakers. As soon as she said it, I knew I am one, and so is my husband.

So what does it mean to be a chain breaker? In my experience, chain breaking is no small thing. Those of us who volunteered in the pre-existence to be chain breakers for our family lines have a heavy burden to bear. We come into this world with the energetic weight of generations of sins and sorrows and behavior patterns from our ancestors. Many people think because they have had certain traits/tendencies since they were born, that it is part of their personality. However, anger, defensiveness, harshness, addiction, fear, chronic depression, anxiety, guilt, grudges, etc, are not personality traits—they are energy distortions. And if you look through your family line and see them there too, they are most likely chains that need to be broken. (Please note: negative emotions aren’t necessarily a bad thing—and we shouldn’t try to do away with them, but sometimes emotions can become programs that take a life of their own.)

  Carlfred Broderick, a noted family therapist and author, wrote about this principle of chain breakers.

“. . . My profession as a family therapist has convinced me that God actively intervenes in some destructive lineages, assigning a valiant spirit to break the chain of destructiveness in such families.  Although these children may suffer innocently as victims of violence, neglect, and exploitation, through the grace of God some find the strength to “metabolize” the poison within them, refusing to pass it on to future generations. Before them were generations of destructive pain; after them the lines flow clear and pure. Their children and children’s children will call them blessed.”

 

These chains CAN be broken! Many such things that were once thought genetic are actually epigenetic (which means “on top of the genes”), and they can be cleared or pulled, like threads, from the family tapestry. One day in the spirit world, all of your ancestors and posterity will thank you!

 There are people close to me in my life that I can see quite clearly are chain breakers, like for example, my husband, but they themselves have no idea this is what they are carrying.

 Chain breaking is not just a selfish quest for self improvement—all of your ancestors and posterity are counting on you to do it. The weight of chain breaking can be lightened immensely just by understanding what it is you are doing. But if a person doesn’t understand it, the sheer heaviness of the burden can shut them down, as it almost did me on December 21, 2012. What a day to reach impact with your mission. Wow. I didn’t realize then what was happening, but I am awake to it now and what a joy! I also realize that it is my mission to help others who are chain breakers.

 So how does one break chains?

 Because they are not physical chains, but energetic/metaphysical, they have to be addressed on the same level. So what is energy healing? It is all kind of things. For example, saying kind words to someone or giving them a hug is energy healing. So is hypnotherapy. So is guided imagery. So is anointing someone’s head with oil and pronouncing a blessing. Basically we all energy and any techniques that are based on this life-giving, universal energy (which we know is the light of Christ) are called energy healing. As far as professionals, there are so many different modalities of energy healing out there (I have studied many of them and every time I turn around there is a new one—that’s not a bad thing. It shows God has many channels.) Many of these techniques are fabulous. Some are great but I find rather slow. Some are amazingly super fast. Sometimes it takes a whole combination of different tools to break your combination of chains.

 FYI, not all “energy healing” or “energy healers” are a good fit for Christ-centered people because they require you to give away your agency, which will only wrap you up in more chains. (The main things to avoid are anything that requires you to let an outside spirit use your body or anything that requires recreational drugs or psychedelic drugs even if they occur in nature. Other than that, just follow inspiration and trust your intuition. All healing comes from Christ, but the facilitator’s beliefs and energy will effect the healing.)

 Each person’s chain breaking path will be unique. However, there are several energy healing tools that I recommend everyone include in their recipe.

 Pray: Prayer is energy, and the spoken word is the most powerful form of energy because it is how worlds were created: “All things are done by his word….” If you are thinking Yeah yeah, prayer. I always pray,then maybe you should pray to know what to pray for. Pray for the Spirit to make intercession. Pray to see things as they really are. We each have our own reality, but God’s reality is the one that counts and is the one that will change you. Chain breaking is an important mission and you will not be without legions of angels and ministering spirits to help you once you take this action. Unified prayer is powerful. So pray for others and ask them to join you in prayer for a specific intent.

paryer partners

 The Temple: Pray in the temple and put names in the temple.  Prayer in the temple is very powerful. There are angels there in the circle who will take your prayers directly up to God. I have never seen these angels, but I have a testimony of them.

Find and take your own family names to the temple. This is not doctrine, but I have this belief that energy healing, while it will heal our living ancestors through our genetic line, will only heal our dead ancestors if they have been sealed to us. Why do I think this? Just a hunch, and lots of hints from the scriptures. Like these:

 And now, my dearly beloved brethren and sisters, let me assure you that these are principles in relation to the dead and the living that cannot be lightly passed over, as pertaining to our salvation. For their salvation is necessary and essential to our salvation, as Paul says concerning the fathers—that they without us cannot be made perfect—neither can we without our dead be made perfect. (D&C 128: 15)

And Malachi says, last chapter, verses 5th and 6th: Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.

Joseph Smith says this about the above scripture: I might have rendered a plainer translation to this, but it is sufficiently plain to suit my purpose as it stands. It is sufficient to know, in this case, that the earth will be smitten with a curse unless there is a welding link of some kind or other between the fathers and the children, upon some subject or other—and behold what is that subject? It is the baptism for the dead. For we without them cannot be made perfect; neither can they without us be made perfect. (D&C 128:18)

I’m sure people disagree with me about energy healing and sealing, and I’d love to hear thoughts in the comments. My rationale is that on earth we are bound by genetic links, but in the afterlife, if not sealed, we are kind of free floating –all sons and daughters of God, but in that world a son might be older than a mother and the family linkage is just not the same. I admit I have no concrete evidence on this, but let’s assume for a moment it is true. And that the only action you were to take was go seal some people together—suddenly any and all “energy healing” that was waiting to be applied to that person, is applied, and then travels all the way forward and back through all the linked generations. It goes far and wide. Not just to you but everyone in the shade of the tree will benefit.

Also, you will benefit in other ways too. Spencer W. Kimball said, “When we do our family names in the temple, we are building our own sanctified army that we can call on when we need them.”  That is a paraphrase of his quote.

 Meditate: Prayer is when we talk to God. Meditation is when God talks to us. Meditation is an energetic technology that opens the combination lock to God’s door so He can pour out his Spirit upon us. In Isaiah 55 God says “my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways.” But we learn in Lectures on Faith, The Spirit is the Mind of God, therefore, if we have His spirit, our thoughts and ways can be His ways. Certain forms of Meditation like Kundalini Yoga also can clear the generations as well as help us to change the patterns in our lives so that we don’t re-create the same problems. If you want to know more about Kundalini Yoga Meditation you can take my next webinar or sign up for my newsletter so that you can download me free e-book when it is ready in about a week!

baby's hand in giyan mudra

 

 Fast

Fasting (going without food and drink or some other thing for 24 hours while praying for a specific intent) is an amazing kind of energy healing. In Isaiah 58, God lays out the blessings of the fast. They are enormous and they specifically mention chainbreaking. Here they are:

“And they that shall be of they [your posterity] shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The Repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to well in.” –Isaiah 58:12

My personal experience is that whenever I fast, God guides me to a new energy healing technique or he increases my spiritual gifts and intuition.

 Oh and one more thing: this is actually the first thing one should do before doing any healing, because that is the pattern that Christ set, is to cast out any darkness, such as devils, demons, or unclean spirits. Always do this in the name of Jesus Christ as this is the fastest and best way. And these are the signs of his followers: that “they cast out devils in my name.” Then ask Christ to shield you in His love and power. Contrary to popular belief, devils are pretty common and like to hide out in us and act like they aren’t there. I have had them, and I frequently cast them out of my clients. They feed on our natural negative tendencies/weaknesses and exaggerate them. I’ll write a post on this soon. But for now, even if you don’t think you could have this problem, just humor me and cast them out anyway. It only takes a few seconds to say the words and command them to go. I recommend doing it every day during your prayers.

 I’m sure I’ll have more to say about this soon since I feel like I am just learning in many ways. I welcome thoughts and comments.Also, if you have a story about chain breaking that you would like to submit to Sarah, she is still looking for stories for her book. You can find her at www.sarahhinze.com

 

The New York Times Is Reading Our Archives

August 6, 2012 in fasting, Felice, Uncategorized by Progressive Prophetess

Last week I had a chat with a writer from the New York Times. She had found this blog post I wrote a few years ago (the full blog post is below) about a time I decided to fast looking in the mirror. She was doing an article on mirror fasts, and had found many different people (all women) doing them for different reasons and for different lengths of time–some for a day, a week, and even a year. If you read my blog post below you see that I did it for spiritual reasons–in lieu of fasting food on fast Sunday. It was interesting to talk to the New York Times about this and my resulting spiritual epiphany from it. She was interested to learn that Mormons have a regular practice of fasting, so it felt good to educate her on that a little bit. She asked some interesting questions on image, and wondering why she hadn’t found any men that had done a mirror fast. I didn’t pretend to know anything about men. Rocky said he didn’t know either.  I am sharing this story and this archived post today because I thought it was a good old post and also it is a good reminder that you never know who is reading your stuff or who might read it a few years from now.

If you have done your own mirror fast or have any thoughts on image, feel free to comment here.

 

The Mirror Fast

This morning I realized a little bit late that it was fast Sunday. I’m not sure how I forgot when for a week I had been sending reminder emails to my collaborators to fast for our book.

I decided it was not too late. Since most of the ladies working with me are pregnant or nursing and wouldn’t be doing a traditional food fast either, I decided I should fast something else. I thought about fasting my computer or my phone, but I needed to coordinate some things and the phone was necessary. I contemplated all this as I was putting on lipstick. Then I had a random thought pop into my mind. Maybe you should fast looking in the mirror.

Hmm. I wondered if God was trying to tell me I was vain. I have to admit, I do love to admire myself–mainly because the human body is amazing to me and I like mine. But I decided that a little more humility was probably a good thing, so I finished my lipstick and hoped it didn’t come off for the rest of the day because I was going to fast looking in the mirror.

It was the strangest experience. I know that some days go by where I don’t look in a mirror all day, but when trying to consciously avoid them, I seemed to catch my reflection everywhere–and catch myself looking at it. This conscious shift in awareness about my image, didn’t register until on my way to church when I caught half my eye in the rearview. Then I remembered my morning scripture study. Early this morning, I had read Alma 5: 14 Have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have you experienced this mighty change of heart?”

My image in the mirror suddenly took on a whole new meaning. And I realized I didn’t need a mirror to answer that. I could close my eyes and see myself as Christ saw me. At church everyone told me I looked gorgeous. Personally, I think I always look good, but this week everyone seemed to notice. And interestingly, I noticed how great everyone else looked today. True, it was a gorgeous day–but those aren’t uncommon here in Los Angeles. It think I just saw Christ in their countenances as well. Especially my little girl. She was radiant.

I love how God continues to teach me in unexpected ways. What I thought was about vanity, was really about the beauty that comes from being spiritually born on God.