My favorite birth I didn’t attend…

Awhile ago Robyn posted about a birth that changed her heart.  It made me think about a recent birth I didn’t attend, at least not physically.

One of my dearest friends started as my Hypnobabies student many years ago. She asked me to be her doula. I attended Mia’s birth and it was a fine hospital birth. Not quite what she had hoped for, but there was love and joy there.   My friend and I as her doulas, her husband, her mom and nurses and the doctor.

Then she asked me to attend Luca’s birth. A fun, joyous homebirth filled with angels and miracles. Wendy, Angela and I as her doula, husband, midwife, assistant, her mom and daughter, ancestors and angels too. I had a powerful spiritual experience at her birth.

When she was pregnant with her 3rd I knew I would be invited to her birth. However, I didn’t know if I would be there. I had a cruise planned for when she was due.  We were good friends by now and I certainly wanted to be there to offer her love and support. I also knew it would be an amazing spiritual birth and angels would be attending and I wanted to witness it.

I “knew” I wouldn’t be there. 

I attended her blessing way which was amazing and filled with love and well wishes. I had written a letter from God for her and it alluded to some things that made me wonder if she would have the homebirth she wanted and again I felt that I would miss the birth.

The week before I left Andrea started getting pressure from her midwife to do natural induction techniques as her liver levels were starting to look weird. Andrea felt strongly not to do that. I supported her, though I sort of wanted her to do them so I could be there for the birth. But I trusted her intuition!

The night before I left a friend and I took Andrea out for dinner. We discussed her plans and how she had gotten another blood test and was waiting on the results. We all agreed that things would work out the way they needed to, that Andrea just needed to keep praying and following the spirit. She trusted her care provider and God and all would end up fine.

Hospital Induction!

The next morning, as I was doing last minute preparations to leave for my trip, Andrea called me. Her midwife had called and said she needed to go to the hospital and get induced that day. Her liver levels were getting dangerous and homebirth was no longer an option. I had about an hour free and was able to go to her house and talk to her while she was trying to figure out which OB would take her and her insurance, pack, etc.

We had a spiritual moment together as the Spirit witnessed to both of us that she had been right not to do natural induction methods, that this baby needed to be born at the hospital and this was the least dramatic way for this to have unfolded.

Angela and Wendy showed up just as I was about to leave and we gathered around and sang Be Still My Soul and we prayed together for Andrea and her baby. That was a precious moment and I left knowing she was in good hands and that I would be there in spirit. That she would feel my love and that I had played the role I needed to in this birth in the past hour.

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I left this full size painting with her, which she brought to the hospital. It reminded her I was there in spirit!

It was so challenging for me, because by the next day as the boat left port, the baby still hadn’t been born. On the boat that night, I had a dream that I was at the birth and that all was well.   I was on pins and needles until the next time we had internet access. I was so relieved to hear that indeed a baby boy had been born safe and sound and all was well.

Blessings

I was able to be at church the Sunday they blessed baby Arrow and to hear rejoice in her testimony of following the Spirit when it comes to birth. That we can make our plans and that we need to be flexible and follow the spirit if plans have to change.

The birth was amazing, there were angels, there were miracles and while I am sad I physically missed being present at the actual birth. I still was able to be there in spirit and to be a part of her birth experience.

Because birth is not One Moment in time. It is a journey.

Thanks for letting me share about the favorite birth I missed.   I would love to hear about any experiences you have had about being at a birth, when you weren’t actually there.

(I have only missed 2 other births as a doula. 1 was an emergency cesarean and I arrived when the mom was already in surgery. The other I attended the 1st 24 hours and then left on a trip and my back up doula was able to be there for the birth.)

1 thought on “My favorite birth I didn’t attend…”

  1. Sheridan, I love how you could be “present” for the birth and offer her support. Women supporting women in whatever way possible. I love that.

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