I had another appointment with Pam and admitted that for a while now I am sad each time I get my period.  That I want another boy baby.  Of course Rob wants a girl.

 

So we worked on letting go of the fears I have

  1. I WON’T get pregnant and I will be sad.  That will be a loss, opening up to having a baby and then not having one.
  2. I WILL get pregnant and the baby will be a girl.  I am sure I would adjust, but for some reason girls scare me.  I think it is having to do their hair?  Also I know how to raise boys and they are so much fun and my boys are so great that I want another boy.
  3. I will have another traumatic birth.

 

With talking about it, I realized those are just distractions.  Certainly I can handle any of those things if they happened, but when I get worked up about it and create drama about it, it is just distracting me from the revelation I received that what happens is in God’s hands and I am choosing to place it there.

 

No drama needed.

 

Just Peace.

 

Since then I have been able to see myself as a mom of a girl.    I have never even been able to imagine that before.  So I feel more open to whatever may be.

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4 Comments

  1. Psssst, Sheridan, you don’t HAVE to do their hair. My four-year old has her hair cut in a chin-length bob with bangs, all it needs is a little brushing, and I think she looks very cute!

    Whatever happens will be for the best. God is at the helm!

  2. Neil A. Maxwell:
    “Faith in God includes faith in His timing.”

    Don’t waste today waiting for tomorrow. Live your life, expect good things, and be grateful for the blessings that are yours.

  3. Pingback: Surprise, I got pregnant! | The Gift of Giving Life

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