Codi’s birth story actually began exactly a year before her birth, but I will get to that later.
My due date was May 22. My mom came out on May 23 because I wanted her to be at the birth of our Codi. As the days passed, I got more and more anxious. I felt horrible my mom was out here to help with this baby that was just NOT coming out. I also was worried that we would miss our annual Lake Powell houseboat trip if she came too late. I was stressed about going 2 weeks over, because regulation states that if you are planning a homebirth, care should be transferred to the hospital at 42 weeks. I wanted to choose a home birth because I find it more natural. However, the biggest thing I worried about was my fear of induction. I was induced with Caleb which ended in a 40 hour medicated labor.
The days continued to pass by, and my mom had to go back home to get ready for our Lake Powell trip they were leaving on a few days later. I was so grateful for her help. We got so much done in preparation for Codi, and she did Codi’s nursery which we LOVE! I was bummed that she was missing the birth, but was so grateful for the time I got to spend with her. She extended her trip for me a couple of times, but ended up leaving on Friday June 1st.
I was a ticking time bomb. I was irritable, and such a brat. I felt I had been patient, but the stress of it all was getting to me. Poor Dan and Caleb. Sunday night (12 days past due date) I called my family and just broke down on the phone. I cried my eyes out and expressed my disappointment that I was possibly going to have a repeat of Caleb’s birth. I felt defeated. I only had 2 days until I would need to transfer care.
I’m not sure if I just needed to release my emotions, but after expressing my fears and disappointments to my family, I started feeling contractions!
Sunday night I was woken up about every hour or two to an uncomfortable contraction. I would smile every time and fall right back to sleep! At about 7am I woke up to a contraction that made me get out of bed because it was so uncomfortable! I went to the bathroom and lost my (favorite word of all time:-/) mucous plug!!! I know you can lose it days before having the baby, but I just knew in my heart it was Codi’s birth day!
As the morning went on, my contractions pretty much stalled out. Caleb and I walked to the park about a mile away to try to get things going. I would have one here or there, but it was not happening how I hoped it would. Dan texted me and said he had a couple of hours between the OR and clinic. I told him to COME HOME. I needed his help ;-). Caleb and I booked it back home.
You know the advice everyone gives to get labor going? Well, let’s just say IT WORKS!!! From that point on (about 1pm), I was in active labor and SO EXCITED! I sent Dan back to work because I thought this would go on for a while. When contractions were consistent and more intense, I called my sister Ashlee. She got after me about sending Dan back to work. I told her I was fine, and she said “GET DAN HOME AND CALL YOUR MIDWIFE.” I didn’t think I had anything to worry about. At about 2:30 I called Dan and said he should come home. He asked if he should leave around 3, and I said that was fine. About 15 minutes later I texted him and said “you need to come home NOW and get toilet paper, we’re OUT!”
When Dan got home, we were getting things ready. We were so excited it was really happening! As things got more intense, I went in our room and sat on my ball listening to my hypnobabies scripts. At about 4:30 I asked Dan “When should we call the midwife?” I didn’t want to be the annoying patient that has her come over and I’m only at 4cm. So, Dan’s response was “When you ask that question, that’s when you know to call.”
Dan called Connie and she said she just finished a home visit and would swing by to check on us. She got there at 5 and came to our room. It was so great seeing her! When she checked me (which was the 1st and only vaginal exam my whole labor/pregnancy, WOOT) she said “oh wow, you are a 7!!!” I was SO EXCITED I started to cry and realized I wasn’t such a wuss after all! We were really having this baby! Connie wasn’t just going to swing by, she was here to stay!
It was time to fill up the tub, and we called Angel Dickerson to tell her my progress. She said she would be at our house by 6pm.
Dan was running around getting everything ready. Connie called the other midwife to come and to bring all the necessary supplies. I was just getting through each contraction feeling grateful!
Once the tub was full I got in and it felt SO GOOD! Water really is the worlds best natural pain killer! Dan was still running around getting things ready. Things started to get really intense. There were moments where I thought “what the crap have I gotten myself into?” But I never felt out of control at any point.
Angel (my friend who took pictures) got there at 6pm and I’m pretty sure I was about to enter transition at that point. I can’t pinpoint exactly when I hit transition because it all felt smooth yet intense. All the pictures taken were of the last 45 minutes of my labor. It went FAST!
While Dan was running around getting everything ready, I was so grateful to have my midwives there. It was getting harder, and to feel a woman’s touch was so comforting. I felt compassion and understanding in their touch. They had both “been here, done this.” Dan didn’t realize how intense it was getting (thank you hypnobabies) and thought we were in it for the long haul (Caleb’s birth was 40 hours). I wish we would have known how quickly the birth was going to be so that we could have just not worried about all the little things (like setting out food for us and our midwives). That is the only thing we would change about our perfect baby girl’s birth.
I was very calm throughout the whole thing until the very end. I cannot even begin to explain the intensity. By the time Dan was able to be with me, I was so in my labor I didn’t really realize he was there. It really is a woman’s work. There is something so powerful that cannot be explained. It was overwhelming at times to realize I was the only one who could birth this baby. It was all on me, and I needed to allow it to happen.
I loved seeing the pictures afterward because it showed how present Dan was. I do remember there came a point when I did quietly say “I can’t do this” (which once I said that, I knew baby would be coming soon!) Dan leaned over to my ear and said “You ARE doing it!”
My midwives commented several times about how calm I was. Well, that “calmness” went out the window once I started pushing! I was LOUD. It was so incredibly intense that I don’t even remember what it felt like. I remember the pain of the contractions, but I can’t really associate pain with the pushing phase. I just remember an intensity that I could not comprehend.
I was so grateful for the water during the pushing. I was able to move so easily. I can’t imagine birthing in the supine position. I know I would have kicked a doctor in the face if they tried to make me birth lying down. I found that the hands and knees position felt the most natural for me.
Not sure how I was able to muster a smile during the pushing
phase, but here it is.
It seemed like I was pushing forever, but later found out it was only 20 minutes. I thought I was yelling so loud, but when I watched the video later, it wasn’t quite as loud as I thought. It also was not a painful loud, more of a primal “I’m pushing an 8.5 pound baby out” loud. I also realized watching the video that I was much more present than I thought. When baby girls head popped out I yelled “OH MY GOSH THAT’S SO AWESOME!” I also told Angel to take pictures (we had previously made a deal she wouldn’t take pics of my butt) all while pushing my baby out (her shoulders were a beast)!
When baby girl came out (less than 2 hours after Connie got there) I could not believe it! I cried out “We did it, we did it!” I also looked over to Caleb and said “This is your sister” with much emotion. I could relive that moment over and over again (so grateful we got it on video). It was truly magical. There really is nothing that can prepare you for the moment of meeting your child directly from Heavenly Father for the first time. I want to cry every time I think about it.
I never experienced a moment of fear. I felt at peace the entire labor. I knew we were in good hands. Little sister ended up getting a 10/10 on her APGAR! I only had about a 1/4 inch tear, so I didn’t even need a stitch! I felt awesome. The difference between Caleb and Codi’s birth is night and day. While Codi’s birth was WAY more intense, it was much easier. I never got tired and I never felt discouraged. I felt powerful and just plain awesome! Having an unmedicated birth has been a life long dream of mine ever since I was a little girl, and I DID IT! It was incredibly empowering to know I really could do a natural birth!
Codi’s birth was close to perfect. I adore her birth, and the birth high I had for weeks after was unreal. All the intensity was worth it for that high! I have said for a long time that the perfect birth would be around 6 hours. I even told my mom that my birth would be 6 hours. It’s long enough to enjoy, yet short enough to not be exhausted and overwhelmed. Once active labor began, it ended up being about 5 hours 51 minutes with only the last hour being hard! The mind is a powerful thing! I really slacked off on practicing my Hypnobabies towards the end of my pregnancy, but I know it helped me have such a wonderful birth. Next time I will be religious in my daily Hypnobabies practice.
We really debated whether or not to have Caleb there. I wanted him there, but I was worried he would be distracting. Towards the end of my pregnancy we just kind of thought we would play it by ear and see how it all panned out. I am so grateful he was able to be there when his baby sister entered into our family. He was napping during much of my labor and did such a good job! I’ve been asked if it would be too much for him to see a birth. We underestimate kids. I think adults are the ones weirded out by this stuff. We prepared Caleb by watching many water birth videos. He has always loved birth videos. He especially loves seeing the excitement of each family meeting their baby for the first time. Caleb was completely comfortable with Codi’s birth, and really wanted to be there. It was so sweet to see him meet his sister. It all worked out perfectly for him to be there and ended up being one of the sweetest parts of the whole experience! Caleb was so tender meeting his sister, and has continued to be such a loving brother. He adores her! At the end of it all Caleb said “I was a midwife too!” So cute!
Helping daddy cut the cord after it stopped pulsing!
8 pounds 8 ounces! So grateful she was fairly little
considering an extra 13 days in the womb!
My awesome midwives Kelly and Connie!
Even though it was an emotional roller coaster having her come so late, I was so grateful she did just for the pictures alone. Angel left for girls camp (youth camp for young girls at church) 5 days after my due date. I was so bummed she would be gone for the birth not thinking I would actually make it to almost 42 weeks. She got back from girls camp Saturday and I had Codi Monday. What a blessing she was able to capture our birth. I will cherish the pictures she took for the rest of our lives! It was through the pictures that I was reminded of what a sweet experience I got to share with my man. He was so tender. I love Dan so much. There is no one I would rather navigate raising our babies with. Codi is blessed to have him as her Daddy!
The Lords hand was in every aspect of Codi’s birth yet her birth day was the most significant reminder that He has been mindful of us throughout all of our struggles the past few years. June 4th 2012 was not only Codi’s birthday, but Tanner and Shelby’s 1 year wedding anniversary. That might not seem significant, but their wedding a year ago was the single most spiritual experience of my life.
I didn’t talk about the specifics of that day in the blog, but now one of the most significant things I experienced is so applicable to Codi’s birth that I need to write it down. When we were in the sealing room, the sealer (the man who marries the couple) talked a lot about Tanner and Shelby’s children. He said that the spirits of those children were there for this incredible, eternally binding ordinance. I can’t even explain what swept over me in that moment. I had already experienced 3 miscarriages and was unknowingly pregnant with the baby that would end up being my 4th miscarriage. In that moment I felt I was meeting our next baby’s spirit. I felt the little one’s presence so strong with me in that room. I wept. I just knew that we would be blessed with another child. It was such an overwhelming and beautiful experience, as well as a comforting experience.
Codi’s arrival on June 4th was a gift from God. It’s as if it was not only the wedding anniversary for Tanner and Shelby, but the anniversary of meeting our baby girl. Once I realized this, the 2 week wait for her to come was all worth it. The Lords signature was all over this one! Just another sweet and incredible reminder that she truly is a miracle from our Heavenly Father.I love that in the bible dictionary under the word temple it states “Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness.” I love that we were able to welcome baby girl within the sacred walls of our home. Birth is a time in our life where the veil between Heaven and earth is very thin. What a gift.
Today while napping/snuggling with our little miracle, I was overwhelmed with gratitude that, in this little person, all the prayers and desires of our hearts were answered. This little Codi of ours has helped to heal a mama’s broken heart. I am so grateful for our daughter and for her beautiful and healing birth. It was truly an incredible experience. We love you Codi Joyce! You have filled our hearts with hope and joy! Welcome to our family, little one!