Opening up spiritually to a baby

I had another appointment with Pam and admitted that for a while now I am sad each time I get my period.  That I want another boy baby.  Of course Rob wants a girl.

 

So we worked on letting go of the fears I have

1. I WON’T get pregnant and I will be sad.  That will be a loss, opening up to having a baby and then not having one.
2. I WILL get pregnant and the baby will be a girl.  I am sure I would adjust, but for some reason girls scare me.  I think it is having to do their hair?  Also I know how to raise boys and they are so much fun and my boys are so great that I want another boy.
3. I will have another traumatic birth.

 

With talking about it, I realized those are just distractions.  Certainly I can handle any of those things if they happened, but when I get worked up about it and create drama about it, it is just distracting me from the revelation I received that what happens is in God’s hands and I am choosing to place it there.

 

No drama needed.

 

Just Peace.

 

Since then I have been able to see myself as a mom of a girl.    I have never even been able to imagine that before.  So I feel more open to whatever may be.