The Sacrament and the First Trimester

*I wrote this more than a few years ago and forgot about it until now.  It seemed appropriate to share it for Easter.

The morning had been hurried as I struggled to get four children ready for 9:00 am church. My husband was at an early priesthood meeting.  I had been hit with a wave of fatigue that begged my body to take to the couch and sleep instead of coming to Sacrament meeting.  I sat on the bench in our chapel fighting the tiredness of my bones as another wave of nausea swept my body, “Oh Father, I am here.  Help me manage my weak stomach.  I want to be more than here physically.  I want to be present spiritually.”  I was in my first trimester of pregnancy, familiar with these sensations but wrapped up in the physical challenges that pregnancy can bring.

My mind turned to the Savior.  He was tired – heavy the scriptures say.  Was he overcome with nausea as his body lurched forward taking upon Him the sins of all mankind?  I’m sure his bones ached with tiredness.  I sat humbled knowing that the cup that He begged taken away was not removed but filled to the brim and consumed willingly.  What He suffered for me was much more than I can comprehend, so much more than what I felt or would ever feel.  My heart turned to Him and I was grateful for the blessing to give life in similitude of the Savior who gave life to all mankind through the power of the Atonement.

I was filled with gratitude as the young men in their white shirts and ties were passed the sacred emblems of the Sacrament, offering me something I could not give myself.  I thought of the life within me that needed me to offer it something it could not give itself. Giving life does not come without its challenges.  It certainly was not easy for the Savior. My mind turned to Moses 6:69,

“and inasmuch as ye were born into the world by water, and blood, and the spirit, which I have made, and so became of dust a living soul, even so ye must be born again into the kingdom of heaven, of water, and of the Spirit, and be cleansed by blood, even the blood of mine Only Begotten; that ye might be sanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come, even immortal glory.”

This life within me would come into the world by “water, and blood, and the spirit” and would again be asked to come unto the Savior by water, blood and the spirit through baptism, receiving and exercising the gift of Holy Ghost, partaking of the Sacrament, and applying the Atonement.  What a gift it is to partake of the Sacrament.  What a gift it is to give life.  What a gift it is to know the Savior.