My how far I have come since Monday (OK really it has been months, but that is the cool thing about a blog: Time Warps)
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Monday – I don’t “feel” a baby waiting, so I assume there isn’t one.
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Tuesday – Suddenly I realize hmm, maybe I could choose to have a baby just because I want one.
DH and I listened to General Conference and I love my husband, but for some reason it is I who get the baby inspiration pieces in our marriage… how about you guys?
So I heard LOTS of things that said, “Yes, have a baby if you want to!” Him, not so much. Here is what I learned and then tried to tell him.
Boyd K. Packer spoke – And a Little Child Shall Lead Them – I learned: Selfishness Should NOT be how you determine the size of your family!
Another young couple tearfully told me they had just come from a doctor where they were told they would be unable to have children of their own. They were brokenhearted with the news. They were surprised when I told them that they were actually quite fortunate. They wondered why I would say such a thing. I told them their state was infinitely better than that of other couples who were capable of being parents but who rejected and selfishly avoided that responsibility.
I told them, “At least you want children, and that desire will weigh heavily in your favor in your earthly lives and beyond because it will provide spiritual and emotional stability. Ultimately, you will be much better off because you wanted children and could not have them, as compared to those who could but would not have children.”
Cheryl Esplin – Teaching Our Children to Understand – I learned: The Birth of Each Child is SO precious and it is an awesome responsibility and gift God gives us!
As years pass, many details in my life are becoming more and more dim, but some of the memories that remain most clear are the births of each of our children. Heaven seemed so near, and if I try, I can almost feel those same feelings of reverence and wonder I experienced each time one of those precious infants was placed in my arms.
Our “children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). He knows and loves each one with perfect love (see Moroni 8:17). What a sacred responsibility Heavenly Father places upon us as parents to partner with Him in helping His choice spirits become what He knows they can become.
Dalin Oaks – Sacrifice – I learned: Sacrifice is an important part of being here on earth and what better capacity to sacrifice than as a mother?
Perhaps the most familiar and most important examples of unselfish service and sacrifice are performed in our families. Mothers devote themselves to the bearing and nurturing of their children. Husbands give themselves to supporting their wives and children. The sacrifices involved in the eternally important service to our families are too numerous to mention and too familiar to need mention.
I also see unselfish Latter-day Saints adopting children, including those with special needs, and seeking to provide foster children the hope and opportunities denied them by earlier circumstances. I see you caring for family members and neighbors who suffer from birth defects, mental and physical ailments, and the effects of advancing years. The Lord sees you also, and He has caused His prophets to declare that “as you sacrifice for each other and your children, the Lord will bless you.”12
I believe that Latter-day Saints who give unselfish service and sacrifice in worshipful imitation of our Savior adhere to eternal values to a greater extent than any other group of people. Latter-day Saints look on their sacrifices of time and means as a part of their schooling and qualifying for eternity. This is a truth revealed in the Lectures on Faith, which teach that “a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation. … It [is] through this sacrifice, and this only, that God has ordained that men should enjoy eternal life.”13
Richard G. Scott – How to Obtain Revelation and Inspiration – I learned: I need to write down my impressions, but even MORE importantly, I need to read what I have written!!! More on this tomorrow.
It is important that our daily activities do not distract us from listening to the Spirit….When it is for the Lord’s purposes, He can bring anything to our remembrance. That should not weaken our determination to record impressions of the Spirit. Inspiration carefully recorded shows God that His communications are sacred to us. Recording will also enhance our ability to recall revelation. Such recording of direction of the Spirit should be protected from loss or intrusion by others.
All this inspiration didn’t make him jump on board with the whole “Let God decide” idea, but he did agree to fast together the next fast Sunday.
I love your insights here. I have been listening to the talks one by one but haven’t re-listened to Boyd K Packer’s yet. I will have to listen to it next.
I am definitely the one who receives inspiration about babies in our marriage. I think it’s normal!
If you are feeling that you should have another baby, trust that feeling. x
That is the whole problem, I don’t feel like I should have another baby. It is all very vague. More like, If you want to it is fine.” But if I want to, but he doesn’t that is an issue.
It is our stewardship as women to bring babies into this world. We are the first veil. That is why you receive the inspiration and direct that part of your marriage. Have you read Rocky Cordray’s book? He talks all about it in that book. He just guest posted on this blog. It is an amazing book that changed my life as an LDS woman.
I wish sometimes though that my husband felt as passionately about having another baby like I do. We have two and have been trying for almost two years to have a third. Sometimes I feel I carry the burden all by myself, although I know he wants another, it just does not consume his thoughts and life like it does mine. But it is my stewardship and my job on this earth. His is to lead us to and prepare us for the second veil–death–with the use of his priesthood.
Good luck.