Grateful for Miscarriage Stories in our Book

 The following are excerpts from my journal Saturday-Sunday – warning loss mentioned. 
Here are the previous posts to catch up:

Saturday – Finding comfort in our book

still bleeding pretty steadily.  Cramping has gone down.  Spent the morning taking T2 to his tryouts and then to our charter school to help clean.  I just talked to other moms, no work for me today.  Then home to rest.

I am feeling better emotionally too today.  I am still unsure of what to do later, but trying not to fixate on that (I tend to do that) but instead just be in the present moment.

  • I am here
  • I am feeling ____
  • I am healing.

Remembering to breathe while feeling these strong feelings.  Letting them move through me instead of getting stuck.

I also finally got out The Gift of Giving Life and started reading some loss stories and essays.  I am finding them so comforting.  I probably read them before, but they didn’t touch my heart like they do now.

I am so glad that we included these stories in our book, it is a part of many women’s life.

I never thought I would have a miscarriage, that those stories would be for ME.   But now they are and I am glad they are there.  I imagine one day I will be grateful to have had this experience, it will help me as I work with women.

(I found this lovely necklace when searching images for grateful.  I LOVE it and want it as a momento from my sweet tiny hope of a baby I lost.  The page where I found it on wasn’t where I can buy it.  If anyone knows where I can get this, let me know!  For some reason it touches my heart.  The teardrop shape of the grateful plate, is like the tears I cried and also like the womb I carried my baby in.  The tiny heart is like my tiny baby.)

Sunday – Why don’t we talk about this?

– went to church. I am telling people I had a miscarriage and it is amazing how many others have had one too.   It is strange we don’t talk about this.

It is like a hidden thing, until someone tells you, then you share.

I wish we talked more about it.

Nikki said,

“I knew you were going to try to have a baby.  How could you not with your book?!”

She has been reading it and it makes her want another baby.  She is one of my birthing heroes.  I will have to tell you some of her stories one day.

Are we going to try again?

Rob and I decided not to make any decisions for a few weeks.  To let my body and hormones recover.  So we will use birth control for a few weeks as we move on and process what happened.  We will decide later what to do.  Check back next month, I am sure I’ll give you an update.

Listen to this weeks podcast to hear what we decided.

10 thoughts on “Grateful for Miscarriage Stories in our Book”

  1. I am trying to talk about my miscarriage more and more. I also found it opens a floodgate of emotions in other people, which is both sad and cathartic. I’m glad you felt able to talk about it so soon; I couldn’t for a long time.

    1. It happened back in August. But I really felt the need to talk about it right away with people I felt safe with. It really helped me process what I was going through.

  2. I too think it’s so important to be open about miscarriage. I have been open about it since the first one I had (I had to be, because I had announced the pregnancy on my blog). There have been a number of people, and a few very close friends who have reached out to me when they suffered a miscarriage. I truly feel it’s one of my life’s missions to comfort women who have suffered this type of loss. While I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, I think it is just one more thing in your life experience you have to help other women. You have had almost every birth outcome possible, now you have also experienced this loss. You will be able to help so many women Sheridan! Hugs to you. I’m sorry.

  3. Oh I love you Sheridan. You know I have been pondering a lot about why God makes some babies “stick” and others not. I lost the baby that I convinced right after my “leap of faith” and I was so confused by it. I couldn’t understand how after I had worked so hard to get the faith to trust him and his timing that He took the baby away. I never realized how much I wanted it until it was gone. I think that what I learned the most was that God is in perfect control of the universe and that sometimes he lets things happen to help us learn and understand great important truths. Now that I am two years past my miscarriage I am actually SO grateful for it. It taught (and keeps teaching) me so many great lessons. I think the hardest part for me though was that it didn’t affect Jon the same way it did me. I cried and cried and then got angry at him because he wasn’t crying about it. I think to him it wasn’t as real as it was to me, which makes sense because the baby was literally a part of my soul and body, and so it was hard to go through something that he really couldn’t relate to. That took us awhile to heal from, but it healed.

    1. hello and good-bye to our baby on the same day, June 8th, when I was just 11 weeks pregnant. Oh, what a horlrbiy sad day that was for my husband and I. The depth of sadness is so hard to explain — except to those who have been there themselves. I, like you, wanted to avoid a D & C and chose to have the baby at home. Afterall, our last 3 children were born at home, so we felt this one deserved to be, too. It was emotionally difficult, but the Lord was with me during the process and gave me peace. Such incredible peace.I’m sorry you lost your sweet little one two years ago on this day. I know how that feels. I know how you’ll always wonder just who that little one was; a boy or a girl? daddy’s eyes or mine? a piano player or a soccer player? or both! We will always miss our little one. We will go on in life, we will have joy and happiness, but a part of our heart will always be missing. A part of our heart went with our baby that day. I believe that with each of our children, our souls are connected. And nothing, not even death, can break that connection of souls between mother and child. I feel that connection with the baby I lost. I know I will be with my baby one day, in Heaven, and it will be as if we never parted.I think it’s wonderful how you’ve made this day into something so special through the Bridge of Hope program. Selecing a child to sponsor who has the birthday of July 14th was such an awesome idea. Happy 11th birthday, Ramya!Well, I just wanted to say hello and to tell you that I really admire you. It’s nice to see someone who is two years ahead of me in the healing after a miscarriage who is doing so well. It gives me hope. It’s all still so fresh for me. My healing has only just begun. You can read about my experience on my blog: http://www.mommyninetimes.blogspot.comunder the title: miscarriageGod bless you and your family,((hugs))Katrina in CA

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